My Afghan Amy – The Afghan Plan, Was it Puppy Love?

Do you like animal stories? Well I’ve got several, they include everything from ants to porcupines. This is one of many stories about my Afghan hound  Amy, who was with me for 17 years. Amy had beautiful blonde hair, big expressive brown eyes with incredible sight and with a slight build (small for her breed),  she acted like a lap dog. This was the Amy the good, there was the other side. Amy did not listen, chewed everything, puked all the time, took way too long to house break and ran like the wind.

 Calming Amy: I tried books, videos and classes in the desperate pursuit to have Amy be a calm obedient dog, that I if I wanted could walk off the lease (like every other dog I’d owned). While at the veterinarian’s for her regular shots, I explained my issue to the vet. He suggested  that I have Amy breed once. This would calm her down and due to her being so small, she’d only have a couple of pups. I was living in a condo at the time, and the idea of a couple of pups wouldn’t be too bad.

 Stud wanted: Trying to find a male Afghan for stud in Toronto is like trying to pop a zit in the middle of your back with no fingernails. Believe it or not, a couple of months after I started looking, a scruffy woman walked into a pet store where I was working with a  monster male Afghan. Covered in mats  and stinking, neither one had been groomed in a very long time. Reluctantly I asked her if she had any interest in breeding  him. “Oh yes” she said, and then recited a line that suggested he was top breed at the Westminster Dog Show. “I charge a Stud fee of  $1500.00 regardless of success and first pick of the litter”. I looked at the dog, then looked at her, then looked at the dog; I was speechless. “Do you know someone who’s looking?” she said. “No just curious” I replied. That was insane; I needed a different approach. Changing the direction of the subject, I asked her who she uses to groom her dog. “I do it myself” she replied. “No kidding” I thought, and offered to groom him for her in a few weeks. I told the lady I had a female dog and was concerned he might hurt her or get her pregnant. She told me not to worry, he was harmless.  Having never bred dogs, a friend informed me about the heat cycle (when Amy was able to be bred and to wait 11 days into the cycle before trying). When Amy went into heat, I booked the grooming for 11 days later.

  Grooming Day: I met the woman at the Coxwell subway station to pick up the monster dog.  She asked if I could bring him back the day after. “Perfect”, as Hannibal use to say on the A team; “I love it when a plan comes together“. I had brought Amy with me that day since I was planning to breed the dogs at work.   At the subway station, a girlfriend had Amy just out of sight. The monster was going nuts, nose in the air, whining and jolting about like a bucking bronco about to be  released.  After the woman  left, the dog led me towards Amy. We were about to head into the subway when Amy started howling; this monster had mounted her right in front of the door of the subway. I tried to yank him off, but I couldn’t; they were stuck. This how I learned about the tie. Amy was howling and whimpering as this monster stepped over her as they stood there rear to rear; or should I say he stood there while her back legs were off the ground. We pulled them over to the side of the entrance where people were staring with disgust; like they had never seen two dogs hump before. A few minutes later they separated and we were on our way, but plans had changed. I opted to head directly home and groom him there. On the Subway we kept them apart.  Amy kept displaying her swollen target and moaning, while the monster sniffed the air in Amy’s direction; he was ready and willing. We made our way from the subway to the bus and eventually reached to my place.

 We should have taken separate elevators, Amy was yelping and howling, the monster nailed her again in the elevator on the way up. We manoeuvred off the elevator only to have the echoing howls, whimpering and yelps alert neighbours to witness this embarrassing spectacle, Amy’s legs in the air rear to rear with this big monster in a tie. After they separated we went into the apartment and I was able to wash and comb out this dirty monster.

 One last fling: I had separated the two dogs. I put Amy in the washroom and the monster in the kitchen. Somewhere around 3am the now familiar howling, yelping and whimpering with the added sound of claws sliding on ceramic floors woke me, and I’m sure everyone else in the building; Yes the monster got her again. I’m not sure how they got together,  I must have not closed the door properly; Amy snuck out like a lying teenager with raging hormones.

 The Outcome: 

The lady got her dog back two days later.

Hard work for me but the savings were greater.

His mats were gone and his fur was clean.

As for my success, it remained to be seen. 

Fifty-nine days later, 10 puppies were born.

Amy never changed and the vet was scorned. 


We’re all in this life together: Enjoy the puppy love, it’s a dog eat dog world!




About Off The Cuff

Hard working, entrepreneurial type with a strong desire to better develop myself spiritually, physically and financially. I'm leaning towards the comedy field for this platform to help develop myself and benefit others. Occasionally I get a good idea, thought or opinion, "Off The Cuff" is my way to share it with you. All the Best.
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